I was recently explaining to a friend the significance that the martial arts have had on my life.

It was back in the seventh grade when I first began studying Shuri-Te (a traditional form of karate).  Even before then I remember reading and watching everything I could on the topic.  During the course of my martial arts studies I came across a Japanese concept known as Giri…

From what I understand, this is a difficult idea to translate into English.  Fundamentally, it means debt or obligation.  From a traditional martial arts perspective it would relate to the sense of loyalty one has to their Sensei or teacher.  A feeling that, now that the student has received this gift of knowledge it is their duty to pass it on.  I think it has much broader relevance than the martial arts, however.

Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed to have not just one or two good mentors and teachers, but many of them.  Of primary personal significance are individuals like my parents, grandparents, karate teachers, band teachers, pastors, two old bosses in particular, a theater director, a Russian professor, and a few other key individuals throughout my academic and corporate careers.

There have also been a small handful of good, trustworthy friends, authors, artists, and some tremendously loyal and important dogs and cats (See the relevant dog picture above – The blue Chevy with the cab corner windows also has some significance.  We’ll discuss this sometime).

I mention these individuals because they and people like them have all shared something significant.  They’ve offered their knowledge, their trust, and their wisdom.  These are all precious gifts that should never be taken for granted.

Unfortunately, for many of us they often are.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the day to day grind of earning a living, chasing the almighty dollar, trying out the latest restaurant, seeing the newest movie, and basically just living for ourselves.

The question we should ask ourselves is, if those who mentored us in our formative years and beyond chose to live only for themselves, where would we be today?  Personally, I know that I wouldn’t be even a quarter of the man I am today if not for the selfless teaching and training of my mentors.

This is where we begin to consider the concept of Giri.

When I reference Giri, I don’t mean to say that real mentors or friends would typically feel like they are owed something.  If I brought up that idea to any of the individuals mentioned above they’d probably have a big belly laugh, slap me on the back, and ask me if I was feeling ok.

And so we begin forming the definition of a true mentor.  They give selflessly from the heart.  They do so because that’s who they are.  And perhaps if they see something special in you, they do so because they believe you will carry on the tradition and someday serve as a mentor yourself.

So how does Giri fit into the picture?  Or perhaps, a better question would be “How should it fit into the picture?” At the moment, I can think of three specific ways:

• How we carry ourselves
• What motivates us
• Gratitude expressed through our legacy

When our mentors first offered us their gifts, they did so with the expectation that we would use them wisely.  They were likely given with the underlying assumption that we are good, worthwhile, valuable people.

How often do we carry ourselves and use those gifts as such?  It’s an important thing to think about.

For instance, just today, my dad told me that he is proud of me.  When you’re looking for a sign of success, I cannot think of one much better than that.

A few months ago, I was having lunch with someone whom I respect very highly.  We were talking about certain individuals whom we knew to be good people, and he said to me “You’re a good person.”  That was a very impactful moment for me because I don’t typically think of myself that way.

I relate these two stories not to pat myself on the back, but to serve as examples.  Both of these comments are instances of mentoring.  These individuals took the time to offer the gift of building up another person.  It is my duty to strive to carry myself so as to be worthy of it.

Carrying ourselves in such a way will in turn affect our motivations.

This should, in all likelihood, promote a sense of gratitude.  Perhaps the best way to express that gratitude is through the act of giving back – whether it be through mentoring, giving, or service.

And that is a big part of your legacy.

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